In this journey in the past five weeks, which in one week will be over in reading Made to Crave is changing me. It isn't like one thing has been said that just made me stand up and say I want to change my life. It has been much more a process of small pieces of information fitting into some of the different puzzles that I have been trying to put together in my mind.
I wish that I could really explain it. And this process is not going to be easy. I am guessing that it could be an extremely pain process that I am heading towards. And yet each day I have felt tugs on my heart telling me to accept the change. And in this process that I will have to learn to deal with my past and also learn to express emotions in a new way that is a constructive manner.
Now I am going to have to keep moving forward... Taking the time to open each box that has fallen apart and then been taped back together just so that I did not have to deal with what the box represents. And now... at times I worry about the the swell of emotions inside of me. And while I am walking forward in faith. The emotions still trigger the desire to eat peanut butter cups by the ton. And facing these emotions year after the events happened... is a painful process. One that means that I have to learn to trust. And I have been told that these baby steps forward are beneficial to me and to my relationship with God.
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