A TV Day

I was watching TV today... And honestly I do not remember what show it was... but the guy said that Abuse is not just about the power... It is about the intimacy. I have spent enough time since I walked out the door learning about the power and control cycle... and the comment made me wonder... What is it about the intimacy in abuse that keeps men using abuse? As a women I find it to be something that made me want to vomit... run away... and when I couldn't run away I ran away to the world of books... and drove myself to attempt to make a normal life for my child. I still have no idea what normal is, but I do know that if people think that abuse leads to intimacy then they do not understand how much the abused person will put up walls inside of themselves to protect their mind from the reality of what is happening. I have lived that... I still live that... And struggle to learn to trust people in my world. And people who should be close to me are held out at arms length, as I try to make sure that they are not going to abuse me too. Which brings me to the question of what walls do we put up to protect ourselves from the reality that abuse is happening around us? How do we stick our head in the sand to think that it can't happen in our church, or even in our neighborhood? That is something that doesn't happen to smart people, or even to us... And yet it does...