What is real?

As the days get closer to a day that the world celebrates love...  I find that I am most likely the only person around who is not overjoyed with the thought of a celebration of love.  Valentine's Day is a day the world seem to open up its wallets trying to purchase the tokens of love that they think will bring them to the one that they seek.  They think that it will bring them that "feeling" we all seem to call love.

And yet, what is love?  How do we perceive it in this ever changing world?  

Well, I can not speak for others.  I can only speak based on the experiences that have lead me to ask what of love is real...  It is something that honestly confuses me.  A huge part of the experiences are clouded by one simple fact.  That fact is that my husband filed for our divorce three years ago, on Valentine's Day.  That one simple act started us on the path that is leading to the end of our marriage.

And yet that one act was not completed in a vacuum.  And yet, even the years of demands doesn't make me feel any better about the process of divorce.  I could handle the expectations of being able to turn on my body for my husband like a light switch.  I could handle the being asked to jump and take care of his latest need.  The constant jokes about how often I have to go pee, were just another thing to let roll off my back.  Like the fact that each and every time we were together...  I was left wondering.  And I am still wondering about the one other point I felt that I was suppose to prove love, and somehow failed.  Yet, even with the simple fact that a gun was pointed at me, I still know how I failed.  

Now, with the impending annual holiday to celebrate love...  it is no wonder that I am cynical about what love is, and even harder to actually understand how we do perceive love in this world.  And it makes me question, how does God come into play with our perceptions in our changing world...