How shall I live my faith?

Faith to me is as important as breathing is to most people.  And yet, in the midst of a divorce... it can be the easiest thing to walk away from.  In this desire to move forward we can focus on revenge instead of the will of God.  And yet, I have moved closer to God in these days of waiting.  And that is what a divorce is, many days of waiting and facing each day with the challenge to remind yourself that you might be physically without your spouse, but with God you are never alone.  

And yet, in the process of divorce, you have to learn so much more about what God means to you.  And come to terms what your faith means to you and the path you will walk forward.  Because in this world divorce is treated like changing our underwear, but in God's world divorce is breaking a promise to God.  And yet, God does allow a very few reasons to leave a marriage.  It is not a free pass, but a very narrow line in continuing to honor God and yet be let go from the promise you have made to God.

I wish I could tell you that divorce is a free pass to move forward and marry again.  Yet, even three years into this divorce process I am still unclear about what it will mean.  It is a challenge of faith.  A reason to pray, to search God's word, and to find peace in your heart for each step.  I am struggling to figure out the path that is being laid in front of me, but know that I must constantly answer the question of how shall I live my faith...  because without my faith and God, I am nothing.

So, I do my best each day...  I spend time in God's word.  I pray, sometimes as much as I breathe.  And in this process I am also finding time to place importance on worship (church).  It has not meant a walk in the park, but a constant testing of trust.  And in that a learning process of how we are all to live our faith.  The list of my church goes beyond these basics, and yet I am still learning to walk forward in faith and find peace with communion, family prayer, and even fasting or abstinence.  I am finding my faith, and in each step I learn a little more about myself and God.  

I still wish for answers...  I got married with the idea of till death do us part, and I didn't expect to face death at the hands of my husband.  And yet, even a divorce in court does not change the promise I made to God.  Time will show me what God has planned with this challenge...  and I know in many ways God wants good to come out of this darkness.  I just have to learn how to live my faith...  and I pray that you can also live your faith thru your darkest hours.