I
know that all I am suppose to be is faithful. And I have been
faithfully sharing the ups and downs of life after leaving a violent
partner. And yet as we are fast approaching the end of year two... I
think I thought things would be so much better. That I would have
enough to provide for my child. That we would be in a place of our own.
And yet none of those things have happened. Many of the
people who's lives I have crossed in my journey are doing so much
better and at least are living in a place that they can call home. And
today is an especially hard day for me.
Many years ago it was
today that I lost my grandfather. My silent stronghold of faith. His
faith was in his every breathe. And it wasn't something that he rubbed
into people. He simply just lived it. Always willing to lend a hand.
And always willing to forgive his granddaughter for whatever she managed
to get into. And yet when I talk about him and the wonderful
memories... I find that others in my life seem to think I am looking at
them thru the wrong set of eyes.
You see... I remember him
reading to me. Sitting down with me and watching the news... or
something else. And just allowing me to tag along on all his errands
and chores. I can even remember him not even complaining when the
branches of the weeping willow fell and made mowing the lawn harder.
And his heart being so full of love... Love that despite his manners I
could seem to melt them away and find him. A real treasure and a
friend. And yet my mother wants to take away the memories by saying he
couldn't read... By saying he never showed love. I just think she
wasn't quiet enough to notice the way he showed love. And that she was
looking for something very different than I was. And yet on a day like
today... when his death is still so fresh in my mind... I find I would
rather be alone. And rejoice in the love that I knew he had for me...
and the joy that I would see in his eyes if he had ever lived to see my
baby.
Which is bringing me to the question... How do you show
love? I have been learning that we all show love in different ways.
And that not all of us use the same language. You see my language is a
quiet one... the person in the background who will listen and guide.
While others are full of words and actions. And when the language you
use doesn't meet with the language the person is seeking... Messages can
get mixed up.
So as we approach this holiday season where we
are to celebrate the birth of love in our lives... Stop and take a look
at what you think is important. See if what you think is important is
important to those around you that you love. And if they don't match...
Take a step back and see what language those dear to you are seeking...
and try to take some steps towards that language, until you both meet
somewhere in the middle and create your own personal love language with
that person.
#love #rethinkchristmas
