I
hate the point in a day when I feel this great need to talk. And no one
else is awake. It creates in me a great flood of emotions that just
feel like they are flooding my insides with no way to escape. And I
wonder which way to go, because though I see some paths ahead they are
all filled with a grey smoke. And it is so dense that I can't see but a
few inches in front of me. And yet I feel so
alone. Like the world is turning its back on me. And the smoke
threatens to engulf me. Leaving me to feel like I am struggling for
each breathe.
I continue to seek guidance. To seek God. And
yet I seem to always miss seeing the face of God in the midst of the
crowds around me. It seems like God is blessing all those around me.
And that the flood waters are beginning to engulf my whole body.
They say that time heals all wounds, but when do we start to feel whole
again? When do we stop looking over our shoulders for our abuser to
find us? When do we find peace?
