Forgiveness...
I am struggling with this so much right now. And it always seems to
boil down to one person. You see as much as I know I must forgive my
husband for all that he has done. I know it is not my place to judge
him... That is reserved for God. And yet what is my responsibility in
all that has happened?
You see... In my desire to forgive him the first time... I opened up myself to being
hurt even more. And I gave him the idea that nothing he did or could
ever do would be punished. I forgave him and allowed him to get a slap
on the wrist. And he went on to actually threaten to kill me... And
not just me!
So where does that leave me? I have a broken
heart because he is making a choice to throw me away. And yet, do I
really want to be in something that is so broken? Do I want to live in a
state of fear? Am I willing to throw in the towel over the past
several years? At times it is yes... but other times it is No.
You see I realize that living with my husband is unsafe for us. I
understand that with the last behavior that I saw and heard about our
lives would be at risk. And yet even with our lives being at risk...
What is really what we need to sacrifice for faith? Is it within that
sacrifice that I go ahead and let the people who hold the keys to his
freedom know that it wasn't just me who was threatened? Do I leave that
up to others around me that seem to be failing at this?
You
see.... Even two years after I walked out... The questions never
stop!!! So how do you help those around you seek out answers to
questions that seem to have no concrete answer? How do you help to
guide them to follow the path that has been laid in front of them by
God? And how do you make sure that they feel that they are making
lemonade with all the lemons that they have hoarded living in an abusive
household?
