One Year?

Can a year really have passed since I got the second PFA (Protection from Abuse Order)? I sometimes wonder where he is and what he is doing. It isn't this need to know, but it is out of the love for him that I still carry in my heart. A person may change into someone you would wish you never knew, but that doesn't change the feelings that you carried with you since the day you got married. And it hurts so much still that I needed that level of protect. When I thought of happily ever after, I never thought I would be plagued with problems like this. This is not the fairytale ending that I signed up for. I should be planning my tenth wedding anniversary, not watching my marriage to my prince charming fall apart due to abuse. It is hard to let love go once you have found it, but I am slowly learning that love is work and not something magical that a wand can fix. If that could be, time would turn back and take every ounce of abuse out of our marriage and make it our own happily ever after.